Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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