i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
