Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
