Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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