So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Someone came in the potted fern
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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