you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
