are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
