There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
