So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im having a threesome with these popsicles
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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