she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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