i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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