Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
