This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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