Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
