Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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