I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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