Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
