Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
