my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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