Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
