What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
