I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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