i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
