I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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