Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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