you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
