she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
