somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
