so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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