apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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