maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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