brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
