So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
