I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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