I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
