it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
