If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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