So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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