so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
