If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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