Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just made my gag reflex go away.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
