do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
