No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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