the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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