I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize