Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
