I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
