remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
