I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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