break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
