You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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