i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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