Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We are two peas in an std pod
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
