so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize