You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize