1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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