After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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