We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i out mim tonsoeep
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
