I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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