your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize