In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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