Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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