i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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